Are you concerned about yourself? Are you easily frustrated with your children and find yourself behaving in ways you do not feel comfortable with?

Parenting is the hardest job you will ever do. You work all hours of the day and night. The pay is zip and there are no proven ways to get things done. What worked once with one child, will not work the same way with another.  So as the number of children increases, so does the complexity of your job. Lastly, some children are just hard to care for. Those children are challenging, hard headed, difficult or temperamental. Some children have special medical, learning or emotional needs that require a parent to be extra creative, energetic or hard working.

Sometimes we feel we are doing a bad job as a parent. You might feel ashamed of yourself and be afraid to admit you need help. Sometimes, we just feel alone with the challenges and have no one to turn to.

Admitting you want to learn and grow is a HUGE step. We are all brought up to believe that parenting is “natural” and that anyone can do it. So when you find yourself saying, “I want to make changes” or “I need help” you are courageous!

Parenting alone is a new thing. When we were growing up, parents were surrounded by relatives and neighbors who would be glad to step in and give parents a needed break. Now, most of us work and parent. We live away from our families and we don’t always trust our neighbors. 

Self care is important. So, arm yourself with these tools:

• Create a support network for yourself. Meet other parents who have children the same age you do. Meeting other parents can be hard if you are not a social person. Here are some ideas: Attend a Early Childhood Family Education class, Join the PTA at your child’s school, Hang out at local parks with your child, Join the YMCA, or Volunteer at your child’s daycare or school.    

• Once you have met a few parents, spend time together and decide if they are OK to be part of your network. Make sure you are comfortable with the way they take care of their children. Then set up a child care exchange. Agree to help each. Call each other for advise or to vent.    

• Seek information. If you have a concern about the way your child is acting or developing, ask your child’s doctor, daycare provider, or teacher what they think. Read about children’s development on the internet. Here are some good sites. www.kidshealth.org, www.aap.org, www.childrensmn.org.  

• Seek help. If you feel things are not the way you want for your family, seek professional help. Parent coaching is one idea. (WEDSITE) Family counseling is another. (WEDSITE) 

• Make sure you have an adult outlet doing something you enjoy every week.

• Get regular exercise.

• Avoid excessive alcohol or drug use.